What a Day

Yesterday I came home from a long and boring day at work. Jordan was frustrated and told me that he was having a bad day 'cause his computer broke and we don't have any Mt. Dew.  Which, by the way, is Jordan's life blood.

I said, ok let's go to the store and get you some Dew, and we still needed to get a few other random groceries including candy for the off chance that we actually get trick or treaters.

So we go to Winco, which I'm not much of a fan of.  We're checking out and Jordan swipes his card. . . . it's declined.  I said use the debit card, and the cashier tells us then that they don't accept credit cards, and that's why it was declined.  Good to know.  So he uses the debit card and that's declined too.  Which is weird 'cause I know for a fact that we have money in the account, but for some reason I hadn't been able to use my debit card for a week either.  So the debit cards appear to be broken.  I have a checkbook in the car, and I have to run out and get it.  It's pretty embarrassing to have two cards declined and I felt like people were looking at us like poor people who couldn't afford their soda and candy.  Awesome.

We're ready to just shake it all off and get home and put that annoying situation behind us.  We get in the car . . .  and the car won't start.

This is where we lose it.  Jordan goes off on a tirade about how everything is broken; his computer, his debit card, and his car.  He then tells me that the cable wasn't working, and that Netflix wasn't working either 'cause it said there was something wrong with the internet connection.  No wonder he was frustrated when I came home.  I just start laughing, hard.  Like a crazy lady.

We call every family member we know within a couple mile radius to see if they can come jump us and oddly enough they all have things tying them up.  I suggest that we ask one of the many other customers coming and going around us, but they were all incredibly creepy.  Incredibly creepy.  One particular man parks right in front of us in an old LeBaron convertible, has a long smoke while staring at us, finishes his cigarette and drives away.

I was able to get a hold of my bestie, Maggie, and without hesitation she says she'll be right over.  And sure enough she shows up and gets us running again.  What a good friend.  How lucky I am to have such a dependable friend.  THANK YOU MAGGIE!

We get home and we're trying to work it out so we take all our groceries inside in one trip and don't have to make another trip to the car.  I'm holding a bottle of laundry detergent, but tell Jordan to hand me the Palmolive and I'll figure out a way to carry it.  Our conversation goes as follows:

Bre: "Hand me that Palmolive."

Jordan: "Can you palm it?"

Bre: "Olive let you know if I can't"

Jordan: "As olive and breathe."

(We walk to the door in silence)

Jordan: "You're trying to think of another one, aren't you?"

I actually wasn't, I was trying to concentrate on not dropping the palmolive, 'cause it was hanging with only my pinky through the handle.  We get inside and I'm 82% certain that the weight of the bottle has broken my pinky, and it was slipping.  I panic and try to tell Jordan to take it from me before it drops and falls on one of the puppies circling around us.  Instead of calmly telling him that, this is what I say:

Bre: "Palmolive!  GET IT!  GET IT!"

Jordan: "I don't get it."

At this point I'm 94% confident my pinky is broken past any chance of repair and I'm not sure why Jordan hasn't grabbed the bottle from me.  My panic level increases.

Bre: "GET IT!  PALMOLIVE!  GET IT!"

Jordan: "I don't get it!"

The bottle drops, thankfully, and not on a creature, thankfully, and my panic has been alleviated, thankfully.

Bre: "Why didn't you get the bottle from me?  It was falling."

Jordan: "Oh, I thought you were saying another joke, 'palmolive- get it?', and I didn't get it, so I thought you were trying to repeat the joke and ask me if I got the joke."

Jordan then goes into the bathroom and comes back out saying: "The toilet seat broke. Everything in our entire lives has broken, everything.  Name something."

Bre: "The t-"

Jordan: "It's broke!"

Here's to hoping today is better.  The good news is everything is already broken, so there should be no where to go but up.  Right?

RIGHT?!